When I was a little girl, Disney movies like Cinderella taught me that you could fall in love with someone and want to marry them all in one day. In junior high, i>Cruel Intentions made me think teenage sex was raw, experienced, and inventive. In high school, The Postman Always Rings Twice made me expect sex to be, well, insane – almost like an incredibly hot power struggle that ended with sexy results.

And don’t forget about all those movies that make it look hot to have sex in the shower, ocean, or pool. In real life you would get some mean infections from all that erotic water play.

Movies have truly tricked me into some great expectations when it comes to sex and romance. I watched Atonement the other night and couldn’t help but think how insanely sexy and passionate Keira Knightley and James McAvoy looked having sex in the library and how desperately I’d like to do that, preferably with James McAvoy as well.

But then I thought about it – would having sex propped up against a bookshelf be comfortable at all? Or in Ghost, is pottery actually sexy? I mean, wouldn’t it just be messy? And regardless of what Last Tango In Paris tells you, sex involving butter and an aging Marlon Brando is neither hot nor hygienic.

In movies, everyone always looks sexy, even when they’re sweaty. You never need a condom, you can have sex anywhere and it’s comfortable and safe, and anyone can have an orgasm in five minutes.

Movies can be really sexy and romantic, but we shouldn’t compare them to real life. If we keep comparing our sexual and romantic lives to the ones we see on the big screen we’ll all end up disappointed, because, let’s face it, nothing beats the movies.

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